Talk show trauma!

An enormous cloud of drama swept over the entire town of Dollywood on Saturday night during the airing of the first episode of "Gladis". As you all know, Gladis' (DingyFeathers) first guest on the show was Jack (freeduck___) and we all knew that wouldn't end well.

When Gladis asked Jack about his seven month relationship with partner Mairin (loveshorses5) a tall, big breasted, blonde lady in the audience quickly stood up and yelled "He doesn't love her, he loves me!".

The entire audience gasped and a spotlight swung around to the anonymous woman, she removed her oversized Prada shades to reveal she was in fact Jack's ex ex EX, Khol (hollyoaksrocks*)! The audience, Gladis and Jack were all shocked to their very cores. Jack rose from his seat and bawled back at Khol "Sit down you tacky bitch!", Khol replied with "You're just scared that everyone will know the truth!", Jack then retaliated by charging at Khol screaming "You bitch! You fucking ugly plastic bitch!". Both tumbled to the ground and  heated it up in a scandalous bitch scrap! Extensions went flying, names were called and one member of the audience even said she saw a tampon fall out of Khols shorts!

When security finally broke up the fight, Jack gracefully emitted a generous serving of his saliva on to Khols face. Classy.

Both are now in separate hotels and refuse to apologize for their actions.

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Caffeine Catastrophe!

All hell broke loose today when Nika (Princess_Kiara1) received an incorrect order in "Roots" coffee shop downtown.

The member of staff who served Nika told our reporters

"She ordered a decaf triple shot mocha frappé and I accidentally only gave her two shots. Instead of asking nicely for me to correct the drink, she removed the lid and threw the entire thing on me!"

Passers by and customers in the store said that they were "shocked" my Nika's behaviour. After committing the appalling act, she apparently stormed out of the store muttering to herself and pushed a lamp over on the way out.

 A member of Nika's team told us she had been stressed and anxious about the opening of her new tattoo parlour in a few weeks, and maybe that's what provoked the inconvenience.

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Young Holly-wouldn't!

Earlier today Kimberly (xxlovexx) verbally attacked the team at the Starplaza Department Store with the following quote in her public online Diary.

"I think the latest, and horrendous, Young Hollywood collection has proven that we don't buy every limited thing from the Starplaza. It was awful and hardly anything sold it. If you don't make the effort SD we won't buy."

"Young Hollywood" was a new store opened on what the residents of Dollywood call "the expensive" side of the Starplaza. It barely sold any of it's products due to it's high pricing and low quality. Most of the clothes were "limited edition" too.

Kim's online Diary is known to contain many angry and slightly illiterate posts. Some even say that the Dollywood Council may get it shut down because of how much of a negative her posts have towards the town. I'm pretty sure that if any officials tried to tackle it down, Kimberly wouldn't take it too kindly.

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Fur real?

Whilst out furniture shopping at Opulence yesterday, Eliza (Wooldoor) was the victim of an attack performed by a gang of PETA protesters whom ran into the store and began TEARING Eliza's gorgeous fur coat apart. A store clerk quickly called 911 and the protesters had to be tased and evacuated from the store.

The maniacs tore and cut off clumps of fur from the coat, including parts off the bottom and on the right sleeve. After the ambush, Eliza stated she was "shocked" and "terrified". "I thought one of them was going to slash my face" she told our reporter "it was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me".

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